Pygmalion's Sword

You may or may not have heard of the Pygmalion effect. It's a phenomenon that states that higher expectations lead to better performance, taking its name from a Greek sculptor who fell in love with one of the statues that he had carved. Expectations are heavily prevalent in our lives, and they vary on a large scale, from things such as visiting a new restaurant you may have heard about, to our own expectations for ourselves and the people surrounding us. It wouldn't be right to limit them solely to the visions of accomplishment in our personal lives; however, the most significant expectations boil down to the ones we keep for ourselves.

Much like the Pygmalion effect exhibits, keeping expectations for ourselves is a somewhat necessary requirement for us to be able to aspire for more, to test the limits of our capabilities and take the steps we need in order to achieve our goals. It is human nature for us to always reach for a certain bar, and we often find ourselves burdened by the constant need to prove ourselves in any venture we set out for. But no matter how heavy the expectation weighs over us, there are always two sides to the outcome that we manage to receive, each one eliciting its own response. Think of it as a double-edged sword- one side blunt and the other sharp. When we live up to what we expect, the sharp euphoria of satisfaction plunges through us, instilling a sense of worthiness, of accomplishment. The alternative, however, is not as gratifying. When we fail to meet the standards we've set, we're greeted with the dull edge of the sword- a sense of disappointment and pressure that hits us repeatedly and resonates deeper than the reward of satisfaction ever seems to. After all, our failures tend to haunt us more than our successes do, that inner critic seeking every opportunity to bare its fangs and make us feel like we aren't worthy enough.

I'm sure all of us have faced both of these experiences before, and learning how to deal with our expectations is a fine line to walk with steady footing. It's easy to wallow in self-pity when they aren't met, and the only way to push yourself forward is to accept the importance that expectations have in your life, but learn to not let them define who you are. Use them to your advantage as a tool for progress, while remembering that facing the result with a sense of equanimity will free you from the way they affect you. In the end, it's up to you how you wield the weapon that is your expectations. Do you fumble to maintain your balance each time the sword tips in favour of one edge, letting your highs and lows define your worth, or do you accept your expectations as they are, leveraging yourself using the Pygmalion effect but knowing when to let go?