Dear future self, hi.
Not to sound too dark but I’d be surprised if this letter ever finds you because honestly speaking, the place I’m speaking from, man next four years sound too long to survive. Damn, it did sound dark, didn’t it? Alright, change of topic.
Well finally, graduation day, wuhuu!
The fact that you’ve made through everything so brilliantly makes my heart so happy and proud and overwhelmed with so many emotions more, all simultaneously. And hey don’t you dare belittle this achievement of yours. I know how all your life you’ve underestimated and undermined yourself. So yeah, it’s high time you stop doing that. Now while I’m still trying to, I want you to let go of all the love you saved in your heart for the wrong people. Every memory, thought, and picture that has had the power to make you cry, all the pain that you’ve held on to, long after it should have been released. Because it's okay to be misunderstood, to cut out toxic people from your life, to not be loved back the way you deserve, having too many unfinished conversations, to love and lose several times over and still try.
Let’s both agree that we’ve come to terms with the fact that life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows, hell not even half of it is but always remember, you are strong enough to deal with your mess. But then sometimes it's okay if you feel like expressing yourself, it's okay if you need someone who can listen to you and it is okay to let someone know about how you feel. At the end of the day you are your own secret keeper but once in a while it is okay to let it all out. It’s always going to take strength to push forward but a step outside your comfort zone is a step forward with hesitance, two steps backward from reluctance. That’s the mantra you see, two steps forward, one step backward is still a step forward. Let this thought drive you further, always.
So, tell me, how’s it going with the studio apartment you wanted to buy with your best friend in NYC? Now that college is finally over, go take that solo trip you’ve always wanted to. I hope you’ve finally stopped dreading emotional attachments. I mean, I can’t deny that I still do but people tell me not all good things fall apart. I hope unlike me, you believe in it. And dude, you got to tell me you’re doing something for that designing dream job in Paris. I’m literally rooting for you from this side.
Someday soon, I’m going to be in your shoes and as much as this horrifies, a small part of me tells it’s going to be better than now. Long-time still to go but whatever it be, if you’re reading this there’s nothing that will stop me now. I am sending good vibes your way. You can’t do anything about it. I think they have already reached you.
Are you smiling?